So many feelings and emotions in just one day...

Is it that I am a woman...a Mother...or the fact that I am pregnant that some days are just a roller coaster of emotions that I can literally be in tears one moment feeling so frustrated and then feeling so blessed and happy? Well, it's probably the combination of all three! Wow, being a woman can be exhausting sometimes! ha. I recently read a post from a lady named Glennon, her blog is called Momastery. The part that I love is this: "How was my day? Today has been a lifetime. It was the best of times and the worst of times. There were moments when my heart was so full I thought I might explode, and there were other moments when my senses were under such intense assault that I was CERTAIN I’d explode. I was both lonely and absolutely desperate to be alone. I was saturated- just BOMBARDED with touch and then the second I put down this baby I yearned to smell her sweet skin again. I was simultaneously bored out of my skull and completely overwhelmed with so much to do. Today was too much and not enough. It was loud and silent. It was brutal and beautiful. I was at my very best today and then, just a moment later, at my very worst. At 3:30 today I decided that we should adopt four more children, and then at 3:35 I decided that we should give up the kids we already have for adoption. Husband – when your day is completely and totally dependent upon the moods and needs and schedules of tiny, messy, beautiful rug rats your day is ALL OF THE THINGS and NONE OF THE THINGS, sometimes within the same three minute period. But I’m not complaining. This is not a complaint, so don’t try to FIX IT. I wouldn’t have my day Any.Other.Way. I’m just saying- it’s a hell of a hard thing to explain- an entire day with lots of babies." - See more at: http://momastery.com/blog/2014/01/16/save-relationships-ask-right-questions/#sthash.EiumUUXJ.dpuf She worded it so well, and I read it to Andrew last night because I feel, like her, sometimes I have a hard time answering the question "How was your day?" in a way that I feel really portrays it. Although I tend to tell Andrew all about my day when he asks and he probably tunes out after the first sentence, lol. I wanted him to hear it because lately he has asked, "how can you be mad one minute and then just fine the next?" haha. Well, I wish that men could be inside a woman's body, especially when they are pregnant. I have definatley been more emotional lately and I even feel out of wack. Ahhh those wonderful hormones! They really do a number on us sometimes, don't they? Yesterday was one of those days with lots of emotions. I had to run some errands with Jayna, and in Michael's she ran away from me and I couldn't find her for a few minutes, I actually started to panic a bit because usually I can find in within a few seconds. A lady that works there was on her headset almost calling lockdown for the store, she was really concerned. I found her and she had ran across the store playing with a ball, go figure, and flashes me a huge smile when I find her, " HI MAMA!". I think I will have to have her wear her bear backpack that has a leash on it when this baby comes so that I can actually go out in public with two kids! Then she was having a melt down at checkout and we had to wait for like 5 minutes because they needed to check that something I thought was on sale, really was....I was pretty flustered once we finally left the store and annoyed at Jayna for misbehaving and I felt kind of mad. But I quickly gathered myself together. I had to still go to a few more places but I just showed her lots of love and she was good. Getting mad at them doesn't do any good, I have come to learn that. She fell asleep in the car and I put her down in her crib when we got home, and looked at her all peaceful, and my love for this precious little girl filled my heart to the fullest. There is a lot more that happened yesterday to test my emotions and control, but I just wanted to write about this small example real quick. Life is such an adventure, and it's so amazing. The happy days and good days with my little girl far out weight the not so good moments. But it is in those not so good moments that I learn a lot. Of what to do, and what not to do. I thank my Heavenly Father every day for the gift of being a Mom, especially to my Jayna Joy. January 25th, 2014 Age 2 (and almost 1 month)

It's been a while...

Wow, I haven't posted anything since July 2012, and it's now January 2014!! My life just got so busy and other interests took priority over blogging. But I have to say, looking back through my posts, I am really sad I stopped! Eventhough mostly only myself, family, and a few friends read my blog to begin with, it was for me, for my family, and a nice journal photobook. My friend Alex is the one who got me into blogging in the first place, and I love how diligent she is about it. She prints out her books, and it's something really special she has now. I love looking back at all the pictures I posted of Jayna and what I had to say about her. I do keep a personal journal on ldsjournal.com. I have one I sometimes write in as well at home. I used to be a very great journal writer, I have many filled journals that start at age 8. I have a book I write in about Jayna that I started before she was born, but I find the entries are further and further apart even though I think about it often, it's hard to get around to writting in it! I had a pregnancy journal with Jayna, and now I have one for my baby that I've been diligent in writing in every week. So....even though my blog has been neglected, my life is still recorded else where, but definately not as much as I would like. There are so many things I wish I wrote about that I know I will forget! I've really gotten into my etsy shop littlejoycreations.etsy.com and that has kept me so busy with my free time, and then there is my photography and new editing software I bought this summer, along with my new camera, singing, knitting, crafting, being a mother to a toddler, and moving every 8 months to somewhere else in Canada, and just everyday life and all that comes with that. I made a decision to not keep up with blogging, because it does take time. TIME! What to do with our time? I find I don't have enough time to do all the things that I want, and now being 30 weeks pregnant, I know my time will be even less to do all the things that I want! I feel like it will be really hard for me. Like right now, it's 9:22 pm, and Jayna is sleeping, Andrew is 3 hours away with his Vivint crew on a selling trip, so I have the place to myself and free time to do whatever the heck I want. But I know, in a few months, add another tiny human being to this scenario, and time... free time is more a thing of the past. However, I feel in my heart I will embrace it, and dive in with both feet to being a Mother to two children. Life is interesting indeed. It demands selflessness. Otherwise, you are just constantly frustrated, because you can't do it all... I cannot forsee what life will be like in a few months, if it will be like I think it will. I have a few worries, but when I sit back and think about the big picture I know what is most important, so the hobbies I love so much may have to wait until I have more...time.